Friday, July 2, 2021

Unleash Yourself (Part 1 of 3)

 



What is a leash? A leash is that rope used to tie a dog when you don’t want it to wander off during a walk. A leash limits the movement of the dog to a few feet from the dog walker. To be unleashed is to be set free to wander, explore and see the world. It is a good idea to keep a dog on a leash, it is not a very good idea to keep a man on a leash. We keep dogs leashed because we don’t want them getting lost or causing harm to other people along our path. We are also trying to keep them from acting on their wild imagination.

What are some of the leashes that hold us as mankind?

Ignorance

You can choose to believe that ignorance is bliss or you can choose that ignorance is no defence. Either way you are right. Indeed there are times where what you don’t know cannot hurt you. I hear a lot of people say that it is okay when your spouse or other trusted individual is cheating on you for as long as you don’t know. So much so that Mario Winans sung “I don’t wanna know’ The problem with this though is that eventually the truth outs and the hurt is tenfold. It is better to know early on rather than live with the assumption that everything is okay only to get hit with the devastating news late in the day. I can’t honestly live in the school of ignorance is bliss. I am more of a believer in the school of ignorance is no defence. It is clear even in the law that the fact that you didn’t know it was illegal to act in a particular way does not fully exonerate you from the consequences. It might land you a milder sentence but you won’t go scot free. This is clearly alluded to even in the bible.

Ignorance is responsible for a lot of mediocre lives out here. When you don’t know about the better world that is out there, you will be content with your mundane existence. There is an African saying that puts it aptly. ‘He who has never travelled thinks his mother is the best cook.’ A failure to be exposed to the possibilities of the world around and beyond you can limit your options a great deal. I have always joked with my wife about the fact that a woman in Turkana will hardly crave pizza during her pregnancy. Why? Because pizza is not in her consciousness. It is difficult to aspire for the things you haven’t been exposed to. Ignorance is a big leash, perhaps the biggest ever placed on us. While we cannot change where we were born and what that exposes us to initially, as we grow up our options change significantly. Thank God for Television, books, education and so much more. We know a lot more about what goes on across the world and as such we can also dare to dream the same way people from a more privileged background can. YouTube can take you to places and give you experiences that are out of this world if only you take the time to watch. Don’t allow ignorance to be your undoing, not in this information age. Take advantage of all the resources at your disposal to position yourself for great experiences.

Lies

The narratives you grow up with are very instrumental in how far you can stretch. If you grow up believing you can, your reach will be significant. If you grow up believing you can’t, you will have placed the limits on yourself already. Many people have resigned to a life that is way beneath what they can be simply because they believed certain lies about themselves. The way you interpret the events of your life is key to the lies or truth you end up believing in. Two people can go through the same experience but come out with very different results. There are people who have allowed one failure to define them and because of that they have not been able to move beyond it. Others are on the other extreme. They have allowed themselves to be lulled by their past successes and failed to move beyond them. If there is anything you have done in the past and you are living there, referring back to it in present day conversations, then you have become the victim of a lie. You have allowed yourself to be caged by that experience and find nothing interesting in what is happening today. Other lies are built up over time. When you constantly have negative experiences around a particular issue, you will learn to associate it with those experiences and never see them in any other light. I always like going back to the story of how at some point I stopped eating pork because the first time I did, I suffered tonsilitis the following day. It was very difficult for me to separate the two and for the better part of my childhood, I shunned pork. I had become a victim of that lie. I had a similar experience with tomatoes. As a result of being choked by a piece of tomato cover, I ‘broke up’ with tomatoes for a long time. Much later in my teens when I could see things differently, I started eating pork and having tomatoes in my food again. I can tell you for free that I enjoy pork probably more than any other meat today. That lie would have kept me from pork forever if I had not been willing o interrogate it when I knew better.

Such lies keep you from leaving life to the fullest. They are a tight leash around your neck telling you how far you can go and how far you can’t. Some lies are passed down from one generation to another. That is jhow stereotypes are built and established. Stereotypes are lies which have been told long enough that they take on the semblance of truth. They will keep you from marrying from certain tribes, doing business with certain groups of people and so much more. In shot they place limits on what you can do because they are such a powerful hold on your mind.

What lies have you believed in and how are they keeping you from living life to the fullest?  Pose and answer this question thoroughly in your notebook and share a summary in the comments.

Culture

Culture is a beautiful thing. It is a people’s way of life and a great determining factor of how we live our lives. A lot of what makes up our culture is good and meant to safeguard us from excesses and give meaning and identity to our lives. However, there are certain aspects of our culture which if we buy into wholesale possess the potential to rob us of a full life. While aspects of our culture might have been useful in helping us survive in times past, you would do well to question their rationale in light of where we are today. Culture is conservative in nature and this is important because =certain things need to be preserved for posterity. To condemn anyone’s culture wholesomely is a foolish exercise that amounts to nothing. I also want to add that to embrace one’s culture wholesomely without question is also foolish on the same footing.

When your culture keeps you from exploring the world that is beyond and keeps you caged within the confines of your surroundings then it limits your possibilities. Anytime you ask why some thing is and the only answer you receive is that we have always done it, it is time to question that thinking so you can come to a better conclusion. Don’t be one to blindly accept it because it is the norm. One of my Nigerian friends once said that ‘the longevity of an abnormality does not make it normal.’ Think about our pastoralist friends whose ancestors have lived on cattle rustling and it is ingrained in them from, a young age. If someone with a better understanding and intellectual capacity from these tribes still goes ahead to spend his life in the same village engaging in this practice just because it is his cultural heritage, hasn’t this person failed? Would we be right to say that he has wasted his intellect in the process? Well he could be within his rights as an individual to choose that life but the truth is that he has allowed culture to keep him caged though he knows better.

What aspects of your cultural heritage do you think has been keeping you from becoming all you can be? What do you have to celebrate about your culture in that it has made you a better person? Remember more than 80% of your culture has a lot that is good about it.

Environment

Closely related to culture is the environment in which you grow up or operate in. there are always exceptions but more often than not, you are likely to end up like the people in the environment in which you frequent.  It is said that if you visit some of the informal settlements in Nairobi, they can tell you are an outsider. The dress code and mannerism will sell you out quickly. Every neighborhood has certain quirks that distinguish it from others. If crime is the norm in your neighborhood, chances are that you will become comfortable around crime whether you like it or not. Alliance High School has been known to produce a majority of the crème de la crème of Kenya’s society. There is something that environment teaches you that you won’t find in many other places. This is such a big deal because even if you are average at best, being in that environment pushes you to level up quickly. There is a confidence that comes on you when you know that you are associated with greatness. You can’t help but be great. Living in California exposes you to Hollywood and a lot of what happens on the entertainment scene globally that it becomes natural for anyone who wants to make it big in this particular area to find their way there. We coalesce around people of similar interests because we like familiarity. You must choose your surroundings carefully because they will rub off on you whether you like it or not. This doesn’t mean that if you find yourself somewhere not suited to your ambitions you won’t make it. People have still made it but it was way harder. Designing the kind of environment that allows you to bring out the best in you will go a long way in helping you thrive. It is way easier than trying to work against many odds.

How can you change your environment to position you to bring out the best in you? What is keeping you from doing so right away?

We continue next week so be sure to catch us here. 

in the meantime share your takeaways from this first part of or discussion. 

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