The Man in the Mirror.

 

If it is to be, it is up to me.

When Adam was confronted by God about why he ate the fruit of the forbidden tree, he chose to make a scapegoat of his wife. When God turned to Eve, she followed suit by blaming the serpent. (Genesis 3.) While it would have been much easier to take responsibility for their disobedience, they chose to find someone to blame for failing to do what was their job. This has been the trend for a majority of us ever since. We shy away from taking responsibility for the state of affairs we find ourselves in. We look for someone to blame and pin all our failings on. That is the way of losers.

Winners think differently. They take responsibility for the direction of their lives. Life has got many variables. Some of these variables are in our control while others are not. The key to taking responsibility is in understanding the variables in our control and giving our utmost best to get things done. No one gets blamed for variables beyond their control. The biggest problem is that we don’t often tell ourselves the truth about what variables are in our control. Like Adam, we want to pin our shortcomings on someone else and we therefore try hard to find that someone when we re cornered.

What I always wonder is why Adam would hide from God if he was certain that he had no part to play in the turn of events? Every time you fail to control your variables, it is no secret even to you. You might work hard to deflect the attention from yourself but deep down you know that there was more you could have done to change the situation.

Winners look for ways to get things done irrespective of the difficulty of it all. Losers look for the easiest crutch to lean on and absolve themselves of responsibility. Everyone who embarks on a significant task must be armed with the knowledge that tough times will come. The pursuit of any worthwhile goal will often meet with sufficient resistance. The challenge you have as an individual is to rise above it and still get the job done. You have to ask yourself this question. Will I magnify my goals or my excuses?  The choice is really simple. The battle is between your goals and your excuses. Your best excuses or reasons will not get the goal accomplished. Setbacks are bound to come and the best thing to do is to prepare for them in advance. One of the things that leads people to lean on excuses is that their plans were not rooted in reality. While you hope for the best and keep an optimistic state of mind, your planning must factor in the worst case scenario. When you have thought through what to do in the worst case scenario, you are all set to go and should anything go better than your worst case scenario, you are still good to go and will find yourself accelerating faster than you thought possible.

The best way to approach any task is to pray as though everything depends on God and plan as though everything depends on you. More often than not, we get frustrated with the turn of events because in our quest to walk by faith we forget that faith without works is dead. Faith is no substitute for action. Faith calls on you to listen for what needs to be done and go out to get it done. 

Whenever you experience failure, before you look for the source of the failure anywhere else, begin with a thorough introspection. Be sure that you carried out your task to the best of your ability. Be sure that you gathered all the info you needed and the resources for the job you had embarked on. Jesus talks about the need to count the cost before you embark on a building project. (Luke 14:28) You have to pay attention to his words in this regard. Before you blame God, the devil or anyone else for that matter, ask yourself what is my role in this matter? Until you have cleared your name, do not shift the issue elsewhere.

Our success or failure in life has a lot more to do with us than we care to admit. Other people might contribute to it but ultimately, the buck stops with us. If we accept substandard performance from ourselves, it teaches others that we are okay with substandard performance and that is exactly how they will relate to us. If we hold ourselves to a high standard, the same thing will happen with others who deal with us. We teach others how to deal with us by the way we deal with ourselves.

I challenge you to look back over one of your past failures and successes. Ask yourself what you did to find yourself there. Ask why you failed or succeeded. Without a hurry reflect on it all and tell the truth to yourself. You can even enlist the help of someone who was close to you through that journey. Clarity and accuracy are critical when it comes to a deep look at yourself. Part of the reason why we fail at the same thing over and over again is that we gloss over our own contribution to the whole situation. We are also not able to win consistently because we are not clear on what we did to attain our past victories. When this happens, the truth is that our victories are a result of chance. While there is an element of luck in every breakthrough, more often than not, the consistently successful make their own luck by controlling the variables in their power. The mantra to live by is do your best and leave the rest to God.

Many of us are quick to leave to God even that which is our own responsibility. The truth is that it feels good to experience miracles and find supernatural solutions to our issues. However God spares miracles for times of desperation where nothing else can save us. This is why the children of Israel ate manna in the wilderness for forty years but the moment they set foot in Canaan, the manna ceased. (Joshua 5:12) It is not a good place to be where you are uncertain of what will happen next. Constantly living with your heart in your hand is not the way we are designed to be. The plan is to position us where we will flourish by employing what has been deposited in us.

I want to challenge everyone who is reading this to take their role in their life, business, family, ministry and wherever else with the seriousness it deserves. You are ultimately responsible for how things turn out. If you don’t like the results your life is producing and you are looking for someone to hold responsible, begin with the man/woman in the mirror. Take an active role in determining the course of your life. Become intentional in pursuing the results you are looking for. Act with integrity when it comes to your goals. Let your actions speak louder than your words. Put your money where your mouth is. Quit talking constantly about what you will do and go out there and start doing it. Let it be clear to everyone around you what result you are looking for. When people know what it is you seek, they will facilitate you to get it. When it is not clear, they won’t be sure how to help you. Believe it or not, there are many people willing to help you but you have to give them room by clarifying what it is you are going after. Don’t make the mistake of leaving to chance the thing which is your responsibility. Every evening when you go to lay down your head, purpose to conclude that there was no more that I could do today in the pursuit of my goal. Until you can say that with sincerity, there is a lot you are leaving undone daily.

Take responsibility for your life son. No one is coming from outer space to get things done for you. You are all you’ve got. From today remind yourself that if it is to be, it is up to me.

In my article next week I will be sharing on the second side of this story. Be sure to check it out.

PS: I am putting together a WhatsApp group where we discuss matters opportunities and Key life Skills you need to thrive in today's world. Drop your Digits to +254725832477 if you want to be a part of this conversation born out of our recently held Crossroads Virtual Summit.