Win Within

 

You are your best pep talk

The book of 1 Samuel 30 starts on a very somber mood for David and his men. After having been away in battle, they come back home and find that the Amalekites had raided their camp and carried away everything they valued especially their wives and kids. The situation was so bad that the whole city of Ziklag was burned up. This meant there was nothing for them to fall back on.

The discouragement was top notch to say the least. In describing the scene, the narrator indicates that they cried until there was no more strength left in them. The good thing is that their story did not end there. Let us take a closer look at what happened here and what lessons we can learn.

David and his men came home to an unsightly scene. The image of their city burned up was such a humbling experience. They were brought to their knees and didn’t know what to do. Lesson number one is that in the journey of life, we are bound to encounter discouragement. It is not a matter of if, but when our discouragement will show up. We all get to that point where we come face to face with something that is so far removed from our expectations that it crashes us to pieces. If you have not been there, I guarantee you that your time in that space is coming. I say this not as a prophet of doom but as someone who has been around long enough to know that this is everyone’s experience.

It is okay to cry your heart out. 1 Samuel 30:4 describes what David and his men did when they suffered that loss. David was one expressive fellow. This explains why he wrote so many of the Psalms we love to read today. The man was emotionally intelligent. David would frown upon the so called masculinity of today’s age where men are described by their ability to hold their feelings in. Such machismo does not help you process what is happening in your life. David was at home on the battle field fighting Goliath and others because he was a man of courage and unshakeable faith in God. He was also at home expressing his feelings to God concerning his helplessness. He did not do it in secret but in the presence of his men. I bet this explains why he was always fine with expressing his feelings in the Psalms. This is a huge lesson for me as a man and I hope it also resonates with other men out here who are forced to put on a brave face and show no weaknesses. The important thing is what do you do after you express your feelings? There is a lot of healing that comes your way after you do so but there is more that still needs to be done.

Strangely enough, the men turned their anguish onto David. As their leader, they felt he had let them down. At this point they spared no thought for him and the losses he had suffered as well. As a leader, you must get used to carrying both your own burdens and the burdens of others. Even when you are all suffering, it is still expected of you to stand up and offer leadership. These men wanted to stone David because they needed a place to take out their anguish. A leader sometimes becomes a punching bag for the anger of others.

This is where a key lesson comes up about you needing to give yourself a pep talk. What do you do when those who are supposed to empathize with you turn their backs on you? What do you do when your support system comes crumbling down? What do you do when there is no one to lift up your spirit? Who do you turn to when everything and everyone seems to have turned against you? David has an answer for us. At such times, the only person you can turn to is yourself. When there is no external voice that tells you to go on, your inner voice must always rise up to keep you on track. Have you develop an inner voice strong enough to silence all the noise around you? One thing we must do is learn to sit ourselves down regularly and tell ourselves that we’ve got what it takes to go on. Understand that everyone is going through their own stuff and they might not always be there to lift you up. Everyone has their battles to fight and they will not have the energy to expend on helping you fight yours. If you don’t learn how to lift up your own spirit, the journey will overwhelm you. You’ve got to sit yourself down and say, ‘I’ve got this, I can pull through this, I am equal to the challenge, I have the wherewithal to manage this. The kind of narrative you feed yourself during your downtime has a great bearing on your ability to rise again. Choose your narrative carefully and do not allow the actions/non-actions of others determine what happens with you. Master the art of talking the right words to yourself. 1 Samuel 30:6 says, ‘But David encouraged and strengthened himself in the Lord his God.’ Encouragement is an inside job. Whatever someone else says is only meant to add on to what you already know and have told yourself in the process. Do not wait for outsiders to come tell you that it will be well. Your buddies can turn on you like David’s men did.  What do you do in that instance? You must find a way to encourage yourself in the Lord.

Something happens once David takes this posture of positive self-talk. He is able to connect with God and finds direction on how to solve his problem. A man who encourages himself in the Lord will always find a way through his predicament. There is a clarity of thought that you are able to maintain when you learn to direct the narrative of your life through the right self-talk. David was able to recover everything that had been taken away and regain the confidence of his men.

What are you going to do the next time you are under siege and there is no one to lift you up?