You are your best pep
talk
The book of 1 Samuel 30 starts on a very somber mood for
David and his men. After having been away in battle, they come back home and
find that the Amalekites had raided their camp and carried away everything they
valued especially their wives and kids. The situation was so bad that the whole
city of Ziklag was burned up. This meant there was nothing for them to fall
back on.
The discouragement was top notch to say the least. In
describing the scene, the narrator indicates that they cried until there was no
more strength left in them. The good thing is that their story did not end
there. Let us take a closer look at what happened here and what lessons we can
learn.
David and his men came home to an unsightly scene. The image
of their city burned up was such a humbling experience. They were brought to
their knees and didn’t know what to do. Lesson number one is that in the
journey of life, we are bound to encounter discouragement. It is not a matter of
if, but when our discouragement will show up. We all get to that point where we
come face to face with something that is so far removed from our expectations
that it crashes us to pieces. If you have not been there, I guarantee you that
your time in that space is coming. I say this not as a prophet of doom but as
someone who has been around long enough to know that this is everyone’s
experience.
It is okay to cry your heart out. 1 Samuel 30:4 describes
what David and his men did when they suffered that loss. David was one
expressive fellow. This explains why he wrote so many of the Psalms we love to
read today. The man was emotionally intelligent. David would frown upon the so
called masculinity of today’s age where men are described by their ability to hold
their feelings in. Such machismo does not help you process what is happening in
your life. David was at home on the battle field fighting Goliath and others
because he was a man of courage and unshakeable faith in God. He was also at
home expressing his feelings to God concerning his helplessness. He did not do
it in secret but in the presence of his men. I bet this explains why he was
always fine with expressing his feelings in the Psalms. This is a huge lesson
for me as a man and I hope it also resonates with other men out here who are
forced to put on a brave face and show no weaknesses. The important thing is
what do you do after you express your feelings? There is a lot of healing that
comes your way after you do so but there is more that still needs to be done.
Strangely enough, the men turned their anguish onto David.
As their leader, they felt he had let them down. At this point they spared no
thought for him and the losses he had suffered as well. As a leader, you must
get used to carrying both your own burdens and the burdens of others. Even when
you are all suffering, it is still expected of you to stand up and offer
leadership. These men wanted to stone David because they needed a place to take
out their anguish. A leader sometimes becomes a punching bag for the anger of
others.
This is where a key lesson comes up about you needing to
give yourself a pep talk. What do you do when those who are supposed to
empathize with you turn their backs on you? What do you do when your support
system comes crumbling down? What do you do when there is no one to lift up
your spirit? Who do you turn to when everything and everyone seems to have
turned against you? David has an answer for us. At such times, the only person
you can turn to is yourself. When there is no external voice that tells you to
go on, your inner voice must always rise up to keep you on track. Have you
develop an inner voice strong enough to silence all the noise around you? One
thing we must do is learn to sit ourselves down regularly and tell ourselves
that we’ve got what it takes to go on. Understand that everyone is going
through their own stuff and they might not always be there to lift you up.
Everyone has their battles to fight and they will not have the energy to expend
on helping you fight yours. If you don’t learn how to lift up your own spirit,
the journey will overwhelm you. You’ve got to sit yourself down and say, ‘I’ve
got this, I can pull through this, I am equal to the challenge, I have the
wherewithal to manage this. The kind of narrative you feed yourself during your
downtime has a great bearing on your ability to rise again. Choose your
narrative carefully and do not allow the actions/non-actions of others
determine what happens with you. Master the art of talking the right words to
yourself. 1 Samuel 30:6 says, ‘But David encouraged and strengthened himself in
the Lord his God.’ Encouragement is an inside job. Whatever someone else says
is only meant to add on to what you already know and have told yourself in the
process. Do not wait for outsiders to come tell you that it will be well. Your
buddies can turn on you like David’s men did.
What do you do in that instance? You must find a way to encourage
yourself in the Lord.
Something happens once David takes this posture of positive
self-talk. He is able to connect with God and finds direction on how to solve
his problem. A man who encourages himself in the Lord will always find a way
through his predicament. There is a clarity of thought that you are able to
maintain when you learn to direct the narrative of your life through the right
self-talk. David was able to recover everything that had been taken away and
regain the confidence of his men.
What are you going to do the next time you are under siege and there is no one to lift you up?
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