Private victories precede public victories. What you do in
private defines who you are. The closet is a place of formation, the pulpit is
a place of showbiz. Many people are saints in public but beasts in private. We
have a persona we display before the people to make ourselves likeable but in
our private moments we are something totally different.
We grew up with phrases like Sunday Best, creating good
first impressions and the like. While impressions are good and helpful, what is
more important and lasting is character and integrity. When you develop and
display integrity, you don’t have to worry about impressions because they will
come naturally for you.
Many have defined integrity in different terms but for me
integrity simply means that my thoughts, intentions, words and actions are
aligned and consistent. I am not one type of person to this crowd and a
different person in another crowd. I do not mean that I shouldn’t play my
different roles with what is required. What I want to put across is that
whatever I am doing, there needs to be clarity and consistency in terms of my
values. Values mean nothing if they can be adapted and discarded as you deem
fit. You cannot be a flip-flopper.
In today’s world we hear about closet gays, lesbians as an
example. You might not believe it but we have many people who are closeted in
their respective areas of fault. If we were to pull back the curtains and see
what goes on behind the scenes, we would be surprised at what we would see. There
are many closet alcoholics and drug addicts, closet fornicators and adulterers,
closet liars who will lie through their teeth if it will get them out of a
sticky situation, closet corrupt people who will seize whatever opportunity
comes their way.
There’s a classmate I had back in college who had a T-shirt
which had the caption-Virginity is not dignity, it is lack of opportunity.
While I don’t agree entirely with this statement, there is a segment of people
for whom this is applicable. The question I have for you is, are you an
inherently decent person or are you conditioned by lack of opportunity and
societal expectations? Some of us haven’t been named in corruption scandals
simply because we are not at the table where deals are happening. Given the opportunity,
we would end up worse than those we point fingers at. It disappoints to see
some people blowing the whistle on abuse of office and such other vices only to
end up behaving in the same way once they are given the chance. Many
Whistleblowers; especially on the political arena speak up only because the
corruption isn’t benefitting them. Give them a seat at the table and the
chest-thumping stops.
We have rules for everyone else but ourselves. We want
others to toe the line but excuse ourselves and give room for error. If you
deserve a chance to make things right after slipping up, the same chance should
be given to others as well. It doesn’t make sense to demand of others what you
are not willing to do. It is a lack of integrity to expect others to follow set
rules while you as the enforcer are doing the opposite. It is pharisaic to ask
others to do what you tell them without looking at what you are doing. The
English call it preaching water and drinking wine.
My question to all who are reading this is; who are you in
the closet? Does it match with your words and actions in public? Do you like
the person you are in the closet? If we take the mask off, will we like what we
see? How can you bridge the gap between the man in the closet and the man on the
pulpit?
Speaking of the pulpit, I am not referring to that place
where the preacher stands to deliver a sermon. I am talking about the public
square where you and I perform to the audience that is watching us. About the
place you report to for work daily. I am speaking about the way you act when
your boss is around. About the way you behave when your children are watching,
when you are in the presence of your parents or other figures of authority.
It is my submission that if you aren’t proud enough of what
you are doing that you are ready to do it no matter who is around, then there
is still a gap between your closet and your pulpit. I write to encourage you to
do what it takes to close the gap between the two. Decide who you are and who
you want to become. Be consistent in thinking, speaking and acting like that
person. Someone said your thoughts become your words, your words become your
action, your action determines your habits which determine your character. And
when all is said and done, your character determines your destiny. You must
choose to die daily to the person you don’t want to be and become alive to the
person you want to be.
